As I am wont to do periodically, I have gone quiet. The truth is, that sometimes the world is too much with me. This is a time when I hunker down, take stock, recharge, rethink, re-plan. It used to worry me, these periods of introspection. Now we know so much more about things like depression and how introverts function, and I have learned to ride it out.
One of the things I’ve been thinking about, is that it’s time to clean out my house. And not just metaphorically. After twenty-six years living with the same man in the same house, we have accumulated a lot of stuff. After a while the stuff gets in my way.
I’m focusing first on my studio. The room that houses most of my books and all my art supplies. (I’d include a photo, except that it would embarrass me to no end to have you see how neglectful I’ve been — my family knows what I’m talking about, ask them.) It’s also the room where I exercise, write and do all my creative work, the room where my muse resides. She is not happy with the mess.
I’m on a mission here: Pay heed to my muse and get rid of a lot of stuff. So, if you haven’t heard from me in awhile, this is where I’m at.
I’ll be back momentarily. I promise. In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this little tidbit. Something I found in one of the many notebooks I have scattered around the room like old shoes. I rarely date things, so I have no idea when I wrote this, nor do I remember what its purpose was, other than that I do have reoccurring dreams of flying.
Enjoy.
In dreams, I fly, though there are no wings budding from my back like tender shoots that blossom on spring trees. No feathers fanning in orgasmic waves behind me. There are just my arms — flesh and blood and bone — to lift me, weightless as a dime while I circle above my oldest fears, childhood tormentors grown fat, and unrecognizable, wearing clown pants and floppy shoes.
And this . . . painted while I was in college and my house had hardly any stuff at all.
A Wilderness of Words 
Enjoy the quiet. I always find the air flows better when a room is lightened of “things”. Have fun!
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Sounds like you’re treating yourself to some much-needed down time. And why not? As for your studio, I always liked the clutter. Everything there equals pieces of You.
PS: A Doris Lessing quote for your consideration: “People are just cannibals unless they leave each other alone.”
So be alone (in your studio?) for a while — if you need to.
xox
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PSS: I’ve always loved that painting.
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Mary, your choice of painting and poem say it all. Beautiful.
I have shed many of my possessions and it has been very liberating for me. Thankfully not all my friends have the same desire to divest, so, like eating comfort foods, I can snuggle into their comfort sofas and gaze around and that is enough for me.
I look forward to reading about how this process goes for you. Fly …
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Mary, even when you are “quiet” you are such a gift. Fly, girl, or cuddle in your chair – you are valued —
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I love all of this! I’ve been in cleanout mode all year (like I’m ever not, really), and it’s terribly refreshing. Go for it! 🙂
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Debussy said “Music is the space between the notes.” For me growing up in a jazz world, my life was the space between music and noise of life. In Joy & Light, JBC
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Love this, Mary. And you have been missed! I home the declutter goes well and we’ll be here when you emerge.
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Enjoy your quiet time, clearing the cobwebs, old stuff, and things that no longer work for you. Make space for new energy, dreams and projects.
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Your first line sounds like where I am – we’ve been int he house for 21 years and it is definitely getting cozy… I need to clean some things out and I am with you….I came home last night and crawled into bed and slept, even encouraged my 11 year-old to curl up with a good book and she did! My wife and son came home from Boy scouts to two sleeping occupants. It was wonderful to sleep so long. Good luck with your endeavors and I will keep following along. Also, the ‘stache is looking better – THNAK YOU!
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I knew I should have sent a note … I honestly have thought about you and wondered when we would hear from you. No pressure … just thoughts from someone who likes you and your blog so much!
And in terms of your study clean up and out – – – when I was stuck in the bed after my accident, my mother and my sister came in and threw out / donated / recycled a few truck loads of stuff! It looks and feels great!
Want me to send them up to your place 🙂
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Thank you for those words, Wild. There were 65 of ’em, I know because I copied and pasted them to my document page. As inspirational notes only, promise.
Your words always keep me moving in the right direction. Always needed.
Thank you.
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Lovely . . .
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Having just moved yet again, I’ve been cleaning out already – but there is always more, more, more. For me it’s a lifelong, ongoing project. Good luck with yours!
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