April 6, 2018. This is not what spring is supposed to look like.twenty-seven years ago.
There was sunshine and abundant warmth on that day,
a blessed gift after a solid week of rain.
Our son was a corybantic toddler in need of a playground
and an ice cream cone.
We were all desperate for ice cream,
that harbinger of truly spring when the days open again
to burgeoning possibilities
like green shoots bursting from the sodden ground.
And so, when the phone rang as we were leaving,
I did not answer it;
I answered my heart instead.
Years from now I doubt that
I will remember that it snowed today,
or that my husband brought home pizza
as a consolation for the weather.
To render a day in such focus that you never forget it
requires the prism of an unanswered call
that waits to inform you that your brother is dead.
It casts an image so sharp you can play it back at will:
a heart answered; a brother gone; and still the world spins.
There was also ice cream that day, and laughter.
I remember that. What there was always counts
as much as what there is no more.
*For Puck who is always in my heart.
A Wilderness of Words 
Wonderful poem. Didn’t go where I expected. The photo is very nice, although we’re having a snowy April here too and it’s getting tiresome.
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Mary, this is such a moving poem. I can relate to that phone call, as I lost a sister 11 years ago. I was not expecting to hear of your brother’s death as I read, but you so beautifully juxtaposition it with the joys of a quotidian snowy day with family. Powerful.
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Great poem. I love how you always keep your brother’s memory alive.
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Mary, I remember all too well, and I share the grief that is so beautifully woven into this poem. You have painted it in rich tones that don’t normally accompany pain, and yet they work beyond measure. As they say, the crack in us is where the light gets in. You glow, dear. We receive the blessings from those we have lost gently and only learn to wear them through years of experience.
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Mary, luv. A lovely day – and an awful phone call. Don’t ever forget the sunshine and the ice cream – and the pizza too. Puck is there too. Thank you for taking us along…
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BEEN THERE AND TOTALLY RELATE.
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I bet you were closer to your brother in your happiness that day than if you had taken the call. Much love to you and thank you for writing and sharing.
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